What's the best way to use pork neck bones in homemade sauce?

Does the meat have to be smoked? During what stage in the cooking of the sauce do you add the neck bones. And Most importantly, how do you prevent little bits of bone from ending up in your completed sauce. Twice now, when I've made sauce with neck bones, it turned good as far as flavor (could have been better) but as hard as I tried, I still was unable to made the sauce completely bone free. All it takes is one piece of bone for someone to choke or chip a tooth. Yet If you strain your sauce, you strain out some of the veggies too that you put in there. And straining thick sauce is not always workable. What other meats are a possibility and do they have to be smoked when you buy them? Thank you.